Everything Feels Better When You're Around
by Kaimu
Summary: Noah is a broken child who carries a very dark secret...He doesn't trust anyone, not even his two best friends. When he meets Kurt, something seems to change...
1. Chapter 1

" It hurts. Please stop..."

" You know you like it rough, baby. Just shut up and enjoy my big cock inside of you."

" No! It hurts! Please... Please stop! I can't... Please! Somebody help me!"

" Nobody will hear you, sweetheart. It's just the two of us. Now shut up before I have to kill you."

Noah felt the sharp side of a knife against his throat and shut his mouth.

Nothing was heard anymore besides the grunting and moaning of the man above him and the loud slapping of his balls against his ass.

Noah cried silent tears... He was so scared... Praying for help that didn't came.

A last loud moan, the pain inside his ass grew larger one last time, then it was over...

" Goodbye kid," the sound of a zipper could be heard, "And remember... Don't tell anyone this ever happened. Or else..."

Noah Puckerman shot right up from his bed, bathing in sweat, as his alarm-clock went off.

Another one of those nightmares... How much more of those did he have to endure?

More importantly; how much more of those could he take before they would get the best of him...

" Noah!" he could hear his mother's voice calling him from downstairs, "Noah, get out of bed. You're gonna be late for school!"

Great...School...

Another day he had to walk around with a smile on his face, pretending there was nothing wrong with him.

Sometimes he hated being a jock 'cause it brought up so much attention to him.

Sure, he liked a little attention once in a while, but sometimes it could all get a little too much...

"Noah, don't make me come and get you!"

Noah sighed as he raised himself out of bed and padded to the bathroom.

" I'm coming mom!" he called out when he walked past the stairs, then walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

He took a look in the mirror, then quickly turned his head away.

He hated himself... Couldn't even watch himself inside a mirror without flinching with what he saw.

When he looked inside the mirror he saw a dirty, broken child...

And he hated that... Hated that more than anything.

But in the end, that is exactly what he is right now...

A dirty, broken child with nothing or nobody around to fix him again.  
> <p>


	2. Chapter 2

When Noah parked into his parking space at school, he saw Sam and Finn waiting for him at the school gate.

He sighed and plastered a smile on his face when they both walked up to greet him.

"Hey guys," Noah said in the cheeriest tone he could muster.

He bumped fists with both guys and listened to their stories as they walked up to the school.

Sam and Finn were used to Noah being the cool quiet guy, which intrigued all the girls very much, especially Santana.

Noah always kept the girls off though, never going further than a little flirting.

Finn had asked him about it once, to which Noah had just answered that he wasn't in need of a serious relationship.

Both Finn and Sam had a girlfriend, but they understood Noah's choice of not wanting to commit himself just yet.

They didn't know either if they were gonna stay with them forever...

"Puck!"

Noah turned around to see his Spanish teacher waving him over. He sighed and shrugged when Sam and Finn looked at him questioningly.  
>"Trouble?" Sam asked.<p>

Noah shook his head, "Probably something about my homework." He bumped fists with his friends before he took off to meet mr. Schuester, "I'll see you guys later."

"Later, Puck."

Sam and Finn head off to class while Noah scampers off to his Spanish teacher.

"Puck, I want you to meet a new student."

Mister Schuester steps aside and gestures with his hand to another person to come forward.

It was a brown haired, tall, a little shy looking boy who stepped out of the shadows.

Noah blinked. This boy was really something to look at...

Especially the way he dressed himself.

"Puck, this is Kurt Hummel," his teacher's voice pulled Noah out of his thoughts, " Kurt, this is Noah Puckerman, but he's known around here as Puck."

Kurt smiled and held out his hand, but Noah just tilted his chin up and raised his eyebrows.

"Puck!"

"It's fine, um, mr. Schuester," Kurt cut the teacher off, then turned back to Noah, redrawing his hand back to him, "It's nice to meet you."

Noah still didn't say anything and mr. Schuester let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine. Be that way. Then you just have to lead Kurt around the school in silence."

Noah's head snapped towards his teacher, "I have to lead him around the school?"

"Yes," mr. Schuester looked sternly at him,"I'm assigning this task to you, Puck."

"What do I get in return?"

"I don't think-"

"Oh you'll get some extra points for it," Kurt cut mr. Schuester off, "And so will I."

"You will?" mr. Schuester asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Yes, I will," Kurt answered, folding his arms over his chest and cocking one eyebrow, "If I have to spend even an hour with someone who won't talk to me, I expect something in return as well."

Noah's eyes widened a little as he looked at the new boy.

So far for the shy boy he thought he was...

And what was that?

Was that a wink he got from him?

"Fine," mr. Schuester finally replied, "You'll get an extra point on your next test."

"First test."

"Yes, Kurt," mr. Schuester said a little annoyed, "Your first test, Puck's next test."

"Well, that's settled then," Kurt smiled, "Come on, Noah. Show me around."

Without saying another word, Kurt left the two guys standing there to stare at his back.

"Good luck with him." mr. Schuester said, walking away to get to his class.

Noah just kept standing there, almost frozen to his place until Kurt turned around and looked at him expectantly.

"Are you coming or not?"

Noah looked wide eyed again and shook his head when Kurt turned around again.

Who was leading who around now?

Noah couldn't help but smile a little as some guy bumped into Kurt and Kurt almost lectured the guy about learning to look where you were going.

He really didn't look like he was a new guy at all. He really looked so confident.

He kind of intrigued Noah and somehow that thought scared him a little.

He had never felt intrigued about a guy...Never had let himself feel that way ever again.

Not since that happened.

It really really scared him a lot...


	3. Chapter 3

Puck had led Kurt around through the whole school in less than half an hour. Mumbling things under his breath when they passed certain classrooms that Kurt didn't pay attention to for now.

Now they were sitting on the bleachers, looking out over the football field.

Puck had wanted to just show Kurt the field and then go back to the school building; but Kurt stopped him and pulled him to sit down on the bleachers instead.

He felt Kurt's gaze on him but he refused to turn his head and look at him. Instead he kept on staring right on through to the football field.

"What's the deal with you?" Kurt spoke up but Puck still didn't turn his head.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Oh you know exactly what I mean," Kurt scoffed, folding his arms over his chest, "Are you always this distant to people? Or is it just me."

That last sentence didn't sound like a question, but Puck just shrugged.

"I guess I'm always like this. Sam and Finn never complain about it though."

"Probably because they're a bunch of Neanderthals."

At that, Puck did snap his head to the side to glare at Kurt.

"Don't talk about them like that. You don't know them."

"You're a Neanderthal too if you don't know how to act a little friendlier."

Puck stood up hastily, glaring down at the new kid.

"If that's all you can say about me then I'm done with this. Find someone else to take care of you."

"You didn't take care of me. You just showed me around school, and not in a very good way mind you."

"Are you done?"

"Hardly."

"You don't know me, alright." Puck was really getting angry now, "You know nothing about me, my friends, this school...You don't know anything, so don't act so superior 'cause I know a lot of guys who would like to beat the crap out of you if you think you're so much better than them."

Kurt suddenly went quiet. Pursing his lips and wrapping his arms just a little bit tighter around himself.

"I don't want things to go like they did in my other school," Kurt spoke so quiet that Puck had to strain his ears to hear him.

"What happened at your old school?" he asked, suddenly kind of interested.

This time Kurt stared out over the football field, not wanting to meet Puck's intense gaze on him.

"They threw me into the dumpster, smacked me against lockers and called me "queer", "fag", homo", and all other homophobic words they could come up with in their stupid puckheads."

Puck felt himself tense up. He really hadn't been expecting this.

"You're gay?"

Kurt looked up at him with an incredulous look on his face.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice that right away."

"I didn't, I..."

Puck choked up and wrapped his arms around himself. Seeing Puck starting to shake, Kurt got worried and stood up too.

"Puck?" Kurt asked concerned, "Are you alright?"

He put a hand on Puck's shoulder, who flinched and stared at him with fear in his eyes.

"Don't touch me!" Puck yelled, slapping Kurt's hand away and running down the stairs of the bleachers.

"Puck!" Kurt called after him, but Puck just kept on running and did not look back.

Puck ran into the boys' locker room, slumping down on the floor, his head resting against the lockers.

He's trying hard to get his breathing under control when he hears footsteps coming closer.

He feels too tired to move and try to hide so he just keeps on sitting there, staring down onto his knees.

"Puck?" he heard a voice call out but didn't answer, "Puck, where are you?"

He knows who it is, but he doesn't want to see him. He doesn't want to see anyone right now.

"Puck," he suddenly hears the voice right in front of him, "What's going on?"

He slowly looked up into the blond haired boys' face.

"I'm fine, Sam."

Sam rolled his eyes and sat down next to his friend.

"Like hell you are. Me and Mercedes saw you storm in here, looking like a wild animal was chasing you. We waited to see if Karofsky was coming after you, but he wasn't, so there wasn't a wild animal chasing you."

Puck snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Very funny."

"At least I got that smirk back on your face," Sam smiled and winked, "Seiously, man. What's up?"

Puck shrugged, "Nothing. I just freaked out a little about something."

Sam looked intensely at him and Noah had to look away.

"Alright," Sam sighed and stood up from the floor, holding out his hand to Puck to help him up, "It seems like you don't want to talk about it. Let's just get to class."

Puck nodded and grabbed Sam's hand, pushing himself up with the other while Sam pulled.

When they came into the hallway; Finn, Rachel, Mercedes and Kurt were all staring at him; all looking evenly nervous.

As soon as she saw the two boys appear out of the locker room, Rachel bounded up to them.

"Noah, are you alright?" she gently touched his arm, "Kurt told us you were at the football field with him and suddenly freaked out about something, then you ran away."

Puck looked over at Kurt, who wouldn't meet his gaze, then he looked back at Rachel and forced a small smile on his face.

"I'm alright, Rach. There's nothing to be worried about."

Rachel didn't seem so sure about that, "Are you sure? You know you can talk to us about anything."

Puck sighed, "I told you, I'm fine. Let's just do like Sam said and get to our classes." he looked over at Kurt, who seemed still too afraid to look at him. "What's your next class?"

Kurt didn't answer, he didn't even look up until Mercedes nudged him with her elbow.

"Uh, what?"

"I said: what's your next class?"

"Um, English."

"Same as me and Finn," Rachel piped up, "We can take you there."

Puck nodded, "Good, 'cause I have to go to History and that's the whole other way." He jerked his head at his friends in goodbye and turned to walk away.

Kurt just stared at Puck's retreating back until he felt someone slide her arm into his. He turned his head to see Rachel smiling up at him.

"Are you ready? We don't want to be late."

Kurt looked into the direction that Puck had left off to, but didn't see him anymore.

He sighed and nodded, letting Rachel know that he was good to go.

He couldn't get the look on Puck's face when he told him he was gay out of his mind no matter how hard he tried.

First he thought Puck might be another homophobe, but that wasn't it...

There was fear in his eyes, not to mention that he was shaking, a very deep fear that Kurt couldn't place.

There was clearly something going on with Puck, other than just being distant; there was something more.

Something worse...

If only he could figure out what it was... Because yes, he was getting quite intrigued by Noah 'Puck' Puckerman.

And that on his first day already...


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Everything Feels Better When You're Around ~4/?~ Author: saar_fantasy Pairing: Puck/Kurt Rating: R Warnings: mentioning of rape, very visual flashbacks and dreams, trust issues Spoilers: none Genre: AU,Drama,Romance Word Count:: ~2.070 Disclaimer: As much as I wished I did, I don't own any of them.  
>Summary: Noah Puckerman is a broken child... He carries the weight of a very dark secret that happened in his youth and never really learned to cope with it. He doesn't trust anyone, not even his best friends Finn and Sam. When Kurt Hummel comes in his life, something seems to change...<p>

**A/N: The songlyric is from Kris Allen's "Let It Rain"**

The rest of the week went on pretty good for Kurt. He wasn't getting lost in the hallways anymore and besides, he had always someone beside him to walk him to class all thanks to Puck.

After the "incident" on the bleachers, Puck had acted like nothing had even happened and treated Kurt almost like a friend now.

Almost. Because Kurt was pretty sure he still treated him a little different than he treated Sam and Finn.

Of course he treated Rachel and Mercedes differently, but they were girls.

Kurt couldn't quite figure out what it was, but Puck was like a completely other person around his friends then when he was alone with him.

Of course, the only time they had been really alone was that monday, out on the bleachers. After that, Puck had somehow made sure they never were completely alone with each other.

When they were all together, nothing seemed wrong. Puck and Kurt laughed and joked with each other like the rest of them, so none of their friends noticed that Puck avoided being alone with Kurt.

Kurt got along great with Puck's friends. Especially Mercedes.

Rachel was alright too, if she wasn't being too bossy.

Actually, Puck seemed to have quite a strong bond with Rachel; way more strong than with Mercedes.

Mercedes and Puck were just bickering most of the time while with Rachel, Puck always seemed to soften up a little.

He also called her his Jewish Princess, much to Kurt's surprise, Finn didn't mind that at all.

Kurt got along with all of them, especially with Mercedes. They just hit it off right away.

He hadn't gone through any of the stuff his other school used to put him through. No locker shoves, no dumpster dives,...Not even a slushie facial.

He was kind of happy with his first week at his new school.

Now he, Mercedes, Sam, Finn and Rachel were all sitting at a table in the school cafeteria during lunch.

He suddenly perked up at something Rachel said. Something he had never heard them talk about before.

"We should come up with some new songs to perform at Glee club. Maybe we could finally persuade mr. Schue to actually use one of them."

"I wouldn't count on it, Rach," Mercedes answered, "You know how old-fashioned mr. Schue can be with his song choices."

Before Rachel could reply, Kurt cut into their conversation.

"Hold on...You guys have a Glee club at this school?"

"Of course we have," Rachel looked at him, almost scandalized, "You didn't know?"

Kurt shook his head, "Nobody told me."

The four friends shared a look before Rachel looked back at Kurt.

"We have a Glee club, but we don't know how much longer we will exist because coach Sylvester "kindly" told mr. Schue and principal Figgins that we are one member too short for an actual Glee club."

"With how many are you?"

"Well, it's the four of us and Noah. Then there are the three cheerleaders, Quinn, Santana and Brittany. Santana is mostly there to drool on Noah, Quinn is trying to steal Finn away from me...Brittany is ok though. She's basically too sweet to be a cheerleader. Then there are Tina, Mike and Artie who are the quiet ones most of the times but they're really nice. Mike is on the football team with Finn and Sam."

"So you're with eleven people," Kurt mused, "And you need twelve to actually make a legal Glee club?"

The four friends nodded.

"Yep, that's how it is."

Kurt was quiet for a minute, thinking some things over.

"What if I joined your Glee club?"

The eyes of the other four people widened a little.

"Can you sing?" Rachel asked, "You won't be allowed if you can't sing."

"Or dance," Finn chimed in, "Look at Mike. He's far from the best singer. But dude, can he dance."

"I can do both," Kurt smiled, receiving a wide smile back from Mercedes.

Rachel on the other hand looked kind of tentative.

"It isn't as simple as that. You'd have to audition for mr. Schuester and Puck."

Kurt frowned a little, "Why for Puck?"

"Puck is kind of co-director of the Glee club. He calls himself the ambadassador."

Kurt snorted at that, "Really? Ambadassador?"

"Yeah," Sam replied with a smile on his face, "It suits him."

"I can't disagree with that," Kurt said, looking around the cafeteria, "Speaking of which, where is he?"

"Probably in the choir room," Finn answered this time, "It's where he always goes when he wants to be alone."

"Or the nurse room," Sam chimed in, "He always goes there to take a nap."

Kurt nodded and stood up from the table.

"I'm gonna go look for him."

"Want me to join you?" Rachel asked but Kurt shook his head.

He knew this was his chance to finally get Puck alone.

"I'm sure I'll find him on my own."

With that he left, leaving the four friends to stare after him.

Kurt was surely eager to get a place in the Glee club...

It didn't take long for Kurt to find the choir room.

Actually, he just had to follow the sound of Puck's voice, drifting through the deserted hallways.

He was too far off to hear if it was good or in tune or anything like that, but Kurt liked Puck's talking voice so he figured he would like Puck's singing voice as well.

When he finally came to the classroom he needed to be, he quietly opened the door and stepped inside.

Letting Puck's voice wash over him.

_**So many things are trying to keep me And so many voices trying to reach me To tell me that this is not the way To tell me that this is my mistake**_

_**Oh let the rain keep falling down Cause it won't stop me from getting where I'm bound Maybe I'm crazy Maybe it's too late But I'm gonna make it Don't care what the skies say So oh let it rain Let it rain**_

_**I know that this is not the way That you imagined it would be Oh nut nothing you say is gonna stop me No matter the weather that you bring**_

_**Oh let the rain keep falling down Cause it won't stop me from getting where I'm bound Maybe I'm crazy Maybe it's too late But I'm gonna make it Don't care what the skies say So oh let it rain Let it rain Let it rain Let it rain**_

_**So many things are trying to keep me So many voices trying to reach me**_

_**So oh let the rain keep falling down Cause it won't stop me from getting where I'm bound Maybe I'm crazy Maybe it's too late But I'm gonna make it Don't care what the skies say So oh let it rain Let it rain Let it rain Let it rain**_

_**So many things are trying to keep me**_

_**Puck suddenly startled when he heard someone**_ clapping their hands and whipped is head around to see a wide smiling Kurt standing in front of the door.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Kurt quickly said when he thought he saw a flash of fear in Puck's eyes.

Puck waved him off, "It's fine. I just didn't hear someone come in. I get kind of zoned out when I'm singing."

Kurt smiled softly, taking a few steps closer to his friend.

"I could see that."

Puck smiled a little as well, although it didn't quite reach his eyes. He looked around and suddenly it really hit him that he and Kurt were alone.

Suddenly, he felt a bit anxious...

"So, what's up? Why did you come to the choir room?"

"To find you," Puck raised his eyebrow, so Kurt continued, "I want to join Glee club."

"Ah. So you found out about that, huh."

"Rachel told me. Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

Puck shrugged, "Didn't think you would be interested."

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, "Why not?"

"It's not a big deal..."

"Do you like singing?" Kurt cut him off.

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Then it is a big deal. So, when can I audition? Rachel told me I had to audition for you and mr. Schue, so the only thing I have to do is get mr. Schue, right?"

"Kurt, wait!" Puck spoke up when Kurt was walking back to the door, unstrapping his guitar and putting it onto the ground very carefully, "You don't want to be in our Glee club."

Kurt raised his eyebrow, his arms still crossed over his chest.

"Really? Why is that?"

"It doesn't really make you popular to be in the Glee club," Puck answered quietly, staring at the floor, "You will get bullied if you join us."

"Do you or any of your friends get bullied?"

"We used to. Well, I wasn't because most of them are scared of me. I just have to let out a little growl and they run off with their tails between their legs."

Kurt snorted, "Well, then you'll just have to walk beside me and growl."

"This isn't a laughing matter, Kurt," Puck snapped and Kurt's eyes widened. "I'm not your freaking dog."

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, trying to get closer to Puck.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me," Puck flinched a little with the pain he heard in Kurt's voice, "You've been avoiding me all week."

"I haven't-"

"Like hell you haven't!" Kurt broke him off angrily, "Not when your friends were around, no. But you never let me be alone with you. Why, Puck? Is it because I'm gay?"

"This has nothing to do with you being gay!" Puck yelled, "Damn it, Kurt. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I will leave you alone when you answer me. Do you feel threatened by me?"

Puck snorted at that, "Don't be ridiculous. I could so handle you, Hummel."

Kurt was so shocked by hearing Puck call him by his last name that he didn't even think about what he could be implying when he said "I could so handle you.".

Puck knew Kurt hated it when people called him Hummel...Why did he do it now himself?

"I don't understand you, Puck. I really don't."

"I never expected you to."

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong? You threat everyone of your friends normal except me. Why? Why Puck?"

Without another word, Puck raised himself up and walked to the door. Kurt stopping him by putting his hand on his arm.

Puck didn't look at Kurt, but he did stop, his muscles all tensed up.

"Let go."

His voice was something between a growl and a hiss, making Kurt draw his hand back in a lightning speed.

Without further acknowledging Kurt, Puck walked out of the choir room, letting the door fall shut behind him.

Kurt had turned around, staring at the closed door, a single tear falling down his cheek.

What the hell did he do wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Everything Feels Better When You're Around ~5/?~ Author: saar_fantasy Pairing: Puck/Kurt Rating: R Warnings: mentioning of rape, very visual flashbacks and dreams, trust issues Spoilers: none Genre: AU,Drama,Romance Word Count:: ~ Disclaimer: As much as I wished I did, I don't own any of them.  
>Summary: Noah Puckerman is a broken child... He carries the weight of a very dark secret that happened in his youth and never really learned to cope with it. He doesn't trust anyone, not even his best friends Finn and Sam. When Kurt Hummel comes in his life, something seems to change...<p>

Puck ignored Kurt for the rest of the day, figuring it was the best thing to do right now.

He felt a little bad about how he'd snapped at Kurt, but it was all for his own good.

Puck didn't want to burden Kurt with his problems. Hell, Kurt would be far better off if he'd just stayed away from him.

What scared him the most was that Kurt genuinely seemed to care for him.

He didn't want that. He didn't want anyone to care about him because he simply wasn't worth it.

He also was utterly surprised when Kurt asked him why he acted so distant and cold towards him.

No one had ever asked him that... Not even Finn or Sam and they had been his friends for almost all of his life.

They probably had seen the change in him after that happened...They just never asked about it and Puck was more than cool with that.

What was he supposed to tell them?

"Well guys, I'm gay... I got raped when I was 10 years old and since then my life has been ruined."

Hell no.

No way in hell was he gonna tell them his story.

He was fine with the way things were, him being the distant cool guy in his group of friends, because they seemed to be fine with it as well.

True, Rachel was kind of a touchy-feely girl, but he could stand touches from girls far better than from guys.

He still had to try not to flinch when Sam or Finn clasped a hand on or his shoulder or back in a friendly way.

He knew they wouldn't hurt him. Still... He couldn't help but be afraid of another guy touching him in any kind of way.

That's the reason why he didn't join the football team with Mike, Finn and Sam. The physical contact would be too much for him.

He could only imagine himself how freaked out he would get when he would get tackled to the ground and another boy would be lying on top of him.

He would get a panic attack for sure...

He saw the look of hurt on Kurt's face whenever he dared to sneak a glance at him, which tore at his heart just a little bit.

Maybe he had gone too far...

He wasn't a person to appologize because he simply didn't know how to do it.

Luckily Rachel and Mercedes had taken care of gushing over Kurt with all their stories and didn't notice something was wrong between the two boys.

Kurt really had worked himself into Puck's little group of friends in a very short amount of time.

Finn was as oblivious as always and Sam had just raised his eyebrow when he caught him glancing over at Kurt with a guilty expression on his face.

But Puck did remember something as he was trying to find a way to make up with Kurt in some way.

Hadn't he asked him to join Glee club?

That was it. Puck was gonna go find mr. Schue and ask him when Kurt could audition.

He didn't know if the boy was any good, but the only way to find out was to let him do his thing and see if he was Glee club material.

Puck had a slight suspicion that he would be.

He went to to the Spanish classroom and knocked the door. When he heard a "come in," he opened the door, grateful to see that mr. Shuester was alone.

"Puck?" mr. Shuester asked, a little confused to see the boy walking over to his desk, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"I think I found a new kid to join Glee club, mr. Shue."

"Really?" mr. Shuester asked, his eyebrow raised slightly.

"Yeah."

"Well, who is it?"

"It's Kurt. He asked me during lunch break if he could audition and when. I told him I would ask you."

That wasn't completely true but a little lie couldn't hurt, could it?

"Of course, it's not a problem. Do you have time after school?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well, ask Kurt if he has time as well and let him come to the auditorium after his last class."

"Alright," Puck replied with a little smile on his face, this had gone as well as he thought it would go, "I'll ask him and let you know."

Mr. Shuester nodded, "Good. Now go before your next class starts."

Puck nodded and walked out the room, feeling pleased with himself.

Now the only thing he had to do was tell Kurt, if he would even want to listen to him after their last encounter.

He heard Mercedes' laugh somewhere down the hallway and when he looked in that direction, he saw her standing with Kurt and Sam, both her and Kurt laughing with probably another impersonation Sam had done.

He slowly walked up to them, figuring this was the moment to tell Kurt the news.

"Hey guys," he said when he'd caught up with them.

Mercedes smiled at him and Sam held up his fist for him to bump his fist against it, but Kurt didn't smile... The only thing he did was turn his face towards the ground and look at his, very fancy, shoes.

" Kurt?" Puck asked but Kurt still didn't look up.

"Yes?" he asked quietly.

"Are you free after school?"

Kurt still didn't look up but Puck saw his shoulders tense a little.

"Why?"

"Because mr. Shue wants you to come and audition for us then."

Kurt's head finally shot up and he looked at Puck, wide eyed.

"You asked him?"

"Of course I did," Puck answered, his lips curling up into a small smile, "So, are you free after school?"

"Yes!" Kurt answered, almost a little too excited, "Where will I be performing?"

Performing? Really?

Puck raised his eyebrow, "You've got a whole performance ready?"

Kurt smirked and put his hand on his hip, "When I do something I do it good."

"Hmm," Puck mused, his eyebrow still raised, "Well, we could use the auditorium. I'll go ask mister Schue."

"Can we come too?" Mercedes suddenly asked, "I would love to see Kurt's audition."

"Sure," Puck answered, "If Kurt's ok with it."

Mercedes looked at Kurt and gave him her best pouty look, making Kurt roll his eyes.

"Alright, fine. You can come."

Mercedes practically squealed as she threw her arms around Kurt's neck and hugged him.

Puck smiled at Kurt and gave a little friendly wink before bidding his goodbyes and turning around to go to class.

Leaving Kurt with one problem he hadn't really thought about yet.

What the hell was he gonna sing?

When classes were out, Kurt hurried to the auditorium for his audition.

He had spent the whole afternoon thinking about which song he would sing and finally found the perfect one.

When he huried through the door of the auditorium, he stopped death in his tracks.

Besides mr. Shuester, Puck, Mercedes and Sam; Rachel, Finn and six other people were there as well.

Kurt figured they would be the other Glee club members.

Before he could think about it some more, Puck came walking up to him.

"I'm sorry about this, Kurt. Mercedes kind of told everyone that a new kid was going to audition for the club and everyone wanted to come and see you. I can totally send them all away if you're not comfortable with all of them around."

Kurt swallowed, his eyes darting around the room one more time, "No, it's fine. They will all hear me sing at Glee club anyway, so why not let them hear it now."

Puck smirked at that, "You seem pretty sure that you'll pass the audition."

"Of course I am," he said confidently, "I'm just that fabulous."

He gave a little wink before strutting over to the stage. He felt a strong cause of delight go through him when he heard Puck laugh.

He walked up to the stage where the band was waiting for him. He went over to the piano player, he didn't know his name yet, and told him which song he was going to sing before he walked to the microphone.

Brad, the piano player, went over to the band to tell them Kurt's song choice while Kurt himself lightly tapped the microphone to see if it was working.

"Hi," Kurt finally spoke up into the microphone, "I'm Kurt Hummel and I'm gonna sing "On My Own" from Les Miserables for you today."

Everyone went quiet, only Rachel's voice rang through to Kurt and he was quite satisfied in which tone she said, "Really? He's doing a song from Les Mis? I'm impressed! If only he can pull it off of course..."

Kurt was just about to snap at her that he could totally pull it off, that she just had to wait and see, but he was stopped by the ten of the other Gleeks and mr. Schuester who all told her to be quiet and listen to him sing.

He stayed quiet for a little while, just for building up the drama, then he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, he started singing.

**And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to And now the night is near Now I can make believe he's here**

**Sometimes I walk alone at night When everybody else is sleeping I think of him and then I'm happy With the company I'm keeping The city goes to bed And I can live inside my head**

**On my own Pretending he's beside me All alone I walk with him till morning Without him I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me**

**In the rain the pavement shines like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me forever and forever**

**And I know it's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say, there's a way for us**

**I love him But when the night is over He is gone The river's just a river Without him The world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere The streets are full of strangers**

**I love him But every day I'm learning All my life I've only been pretending Without me His world will go on turning A world that's full of happiness That I have never known**

**I love him I love him I love him But only on my own**

For a while everyone was speechless.

Not only had Kurt sung the song, he had actually played it out in his own way.

It was dramatic, but it was classy and that just about summed Kurt Hummel up in a nutshell.

Rachel, of all people, was the first to stand up from her chair and clap enthusiastically.

The others followed soon. Even the band and the piano player stood up and clapped for him.

Absolutely everyone, even mr. Shuester, was up on their feet. Everyone except Puck.

Puck was just staring at Kurt, wide eyed and his jaw dropped open.

Kurt took the applause in kind and made a little bow before he noticed Puck still sitting there, doing nothing but stare.

As he went off the stage, he was engulfed into both the arms of Rachel and Mercedes, got pats on the back from Finn and Sam and the three other guys, then got congratulated by the four other girls before mr. Schuester walked up to him.

"Congratulations, Kurt," he put his hand on the boys' shoulder, "Very well done. You're in to our Glee club, starting tomorrow."

"I am?" Kurt asked excitedly, "Really?"

Mr. Schuester smiled, "Yes, Kurt. Really."

"Thank you!" Kurt said, throwing his arms around mr. Shuester in his enthusiasm, "Thank you so much!"

Mr. Schuester laughed and gently pushed his student away, nudging his head towards Puck, then towards the door.

Kurt looked over at Puck, then back at his teacher and nodded in understanding.

Mr. Schuester gave him a small wink, then turned to his other students.

"Come on, guys, time to go home. There's another school day tomorrow and I don't want angry phone calls from your parents, telling me I kept you too long in school today."

"B-but mr. Schue," the Asian girl started but mr. Schuester cut her off.

"We can get to the introducing each other tomorrow. Come on, guys. Let's go."

As soon as the teacher had ushered them all outside and then had gone outside himself, Kurt went to sit next to Puck, who was still staring at the stage.

"I don't think there's anything left to see over there," Kurt said, noticing that Puck jumped a little, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Sorry," Puck mumbled, not really knowing what else to say, "Did you say anything?"

"Never mind," Kurt answered, trying not to roll his eyes, "What did you think of my performance?"

"Oh," Noah shook his head, still trying to get out of his daze, "It was good...Yeah, really good. I bet mr. Schue let you into our little club right away."

Kurt beamed, "Yes, he did." He was happy, though he had hoped on a little more excitement from Puck with his reaction.

"I'm happy for you," Puck said, forcing a smile on his face, "You totally deserve it."

Kurt frowned a little. Puck still didn't sound enthusiastic, but at least he sounded sincere. That would have to do for now.

"So, am I gonna hear you sing too anytime soon?" Kurt asked, trying to get a conversation going.

This was only the second time they were really alone together and this time, Puck seemed a little more relaxed.

Maybe he hadn't noticed that the others were gone yet...

Puck nodded and cleared his throat a little, "Actually, you will. I have something prepared for tomorrow. It won't be anything like the little show you put up, but..."

"I'm sure I'll like it," Kurt interrupted him, smiling brightly. "I do enjoy other music than show tunes too you know."

Puck smiled a little, although it didn't reach his eyes. It never did.

But when he looked around and saw everyone else was gone, the smile disappeared immediately.

"Where did everyone go."

Kurt held back a sigh. He knew this was coming.

"Mr. Schue send them all home."

"Oh," Puck replied, standing up from his seat, "We should go home too. It's getting kind of late."

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Trying to get away from me as fast as you can," Kurt wrapped his arms over his chest as if to protect himself for what Puck would respond, "It's like I have a disease or something."

Puck looked at the sad,hurt looking boy and sighed, carding his hand through his mohawk in frustration.

"It's nothing personal, Kurt. I just-"

"You just what?"

"I don't like to be alone with a guy," Puck confessed quietly, "Any kind of guy. Not just you."

Then Kurt realized something...He hadn't seen Puck alone with Sam or Finn either.

Together, yes, but seperately...Never.

Why hadn't he realized this before?

"Why?" Kurt asked, his voice a lot softer this time,"Why don't yu like being alone with a guy?"

"I can't tell you," Puck said, sarting to move down the row of chairs, just not to have to walk past Kurt, "I'm sorry," he called over his shoulder, "Nobody will understand."

Kurt was ready to respond with, "If you tell me what it is then maybe I could try and understand," but Puck was already gone.

Kurt still felt a little sad, but most of all confused and just a tiny bit relieved.

It wasn't him that Puck was running away from. He was just scared of being alone with a guy, gay or straight, in general for whatever kind of reason.

Kurt would try and find out the reason though. He wanted to help Puck, and the only way to help him, was to find out what exactly the problem was.

It might take some time and a lot of persuading, but he would make Puck trust him to tell him his story.

Kurt had this feeling it wouldn't be a happy one...

Happy or not, he just had to know.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Everything Feels Better When You're Around ~6/?~ Author: saar_fantasy Pairing: Puck/Kurt Rating: R Warnings: mentioning of rape, very visual flashbacks and dreams, trust issues Spoilers: none Genre: AU,Drama,Romance Word Count:: ~ Disclaimer: As much as I wished I did, I don't own any of them.  
>Summary: Noah Puckerman is a broken child... He carries the weight of a very dark secret that happened in his youth and never really learned to cope with it. He doesn't trust anyone, not even his best friends Finn and Sam. When Kurt Hummel comes in his life, something seems to change...<p>

Puck woke up, drenched in sweat. Another nightmare.

He hated it... Hated his life.

Why had he ever been born?

He had been nervous last night, thinking about the song he was gonna perform in Glee club today.

It was a very emotional song, and it hit very close to home to Puck when you listened to the lyrics.

Never before had he performed such a song in front of his friends. Not something that was so personal for him.

But he had to do it. He just had to.

He couldn't back out of it 'cause that would make him seem like a wimp. He was the ambadassador of the Glee club for some reason.

Plus, he could already imagine the sultry looks Santana would throw at him, how clueless Brittany would just sway along with the music without really knowing what it was all about and how Quinn would be mesmerized by his voice but still shoot wanting looks at Finn.

As for the boys, he didn't really know how they would react.

Mike and Artie would probably just be staring at him while Finn and Sam...Well, he didn't know what they would do, but they'd probably be sharing very confused looks with each other.

As for Rachel, Tina and Mercedes, they'd probably take each other's hand and get all teary eyed. Although Mercedes would fight it of as getting a fly or dust in her eyes or something.

As for Kurt...He really didn't know.

He hoped it would be a mixture of all of his friends' emotions, as long as he wouldn't hate it.

He jumped into his old, beat-up truck, right after skipping breakfast which his mother would certainly bitch about later if she found out, and drove to school.

He couldn't even think about food right now. He would be hanging above a toilet seat in no time if he tried to swallow some food down. He would just have to survive on coffee alone until lunch break.

If he would be able to eat by then 'cause he would probably get even more nervous as the day continued. The closer it came to Glee club, the more nervous he would get.

He was surprised when he arrived that not only Sam and Finn, but also Kurt was waiting for him at the dumpster which was their usual greeting place.

He jumped out of his truck, put the mask of the fake smile back on and walked up to them.

"Hey guys," he greeted them, bumping fists with Sam and Finn, then looked a little awkwardly at Kurt.

Kurt just smiled and held up his fist, making Puck genuinely smile back and bump his fist as well.

"Are you ready for Glee today, dude?"

Leave it to Finn to make Puck suddenly feel nervous again.

"Of course I am, man." Puck tried to say in his most confident voice, "When haven't I been ready to perform?"

Finn grinned and slapped Puck's shoulder, then all four boys made their way inside the school.

Puck praised whatever greater power for his acting skills. Finn and Sam always fell for it.

But Kurt didn't...Only Puck didn't know that just yet.

During lunch break, Puck went to the auditorium to search for Rachel there.

Just like him, she has a habit of going to the auditorium if she wants to be alone.

It's a good time to rehearse as well, and that's exactly what Puck's planning to do.

"What's up my pretty little Jewish-American Princess." Puck said when he slipped next to Rachel on the piano seat.

"What do you want, Noah?" Rachel said with a roll of her eyes, but her voice still friendly.

"Nothing," Rachel responded with a cocked eyebrow, "I was just wondering if you'd like to listen to my solo for this afternoon."

Rachel's eyes widened, "Really? You want me to listen while you practice?"

"Of course I do," Puck replied, standing up to go and pick one of the guitars of the band up and walked back to the piano, where Rachel was still sitting. "Actually, I'm kind of nervous about this one. You're the only one I trust to give me an opinion about it, so..." Puck trailed off when he felt Rachel's hand on his arm.

"I'd love to hear it." Rachel smiled warmly. Clearly affected by Puck's trust in her.

"Alright," Puck smiled back at her, strapping the guitar around his neck and shoulders, "Just tell me if it sucks or not."

Rachel gave him a nod, still smiling, to let him know he could start whenever he was ready and made herself sit as comfortable as possible on the piano bench.

Noah looked down, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, while strumming the guitar.

When he was ready and the guitar was tuned, he looked up and started singing.

When the song was over, Puck had his eyes closed, trying is hardest to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall out.

When he composed himself and finally found the courage to open his eyyes and look at Rachel, he saw she was just as much a mess as he was.

"Wow, Noah," Rachel breathed, wiping away a tear that rolled down her cheek, "I-I don't know what to say...3

Puck chuckled softly, "Well that's a first."

Rachel clucked her tongue and slapped Puck's arm.

"Seriously, Noah," Rachel spoke again, her hand still on his arm, "That was beautiful."

Puck ducked his head, trying to hide the blush that was spreading on his cheeks and smiled shyly.

"Thanks, Rach."

That's when the bell rang. Rachel stood up while Puck put the guitar back in it's place then held his arm out for her which she accepted with a smile.

Puck brought Rachel to her class before walking to his own.

On his way over there he walked past Kurt and Mercedes, giving them a small smile which they both returned.

He felt Kurt's gaze on his back but didn't turn around.

Finally it was time for Glee and Puck's performance would be the first thing of the hour.

Right after the introduction of Kurt to the rest of the club of course.

It all went pretty civil...Quinn,Santana and Brittany just gave a small smile and nodded their heads in acknowledgement. Tina,Artie and Mike were a lot more enthusiastic and waved at Kurt.

When the short introduction was over, Tina patted the seat in between her and Mercedes and Kurt smiled, sitting down on the chair gracefully.

"Now that the introducing part is done," mr. Schuester spoke up from his place next to the piano, "How about we let Puck do his solo."

They all knew it wasn't a question and as Puck took his guitar and made his way over to mr. Schuester, they all clapped. Santana even let out a wolfwhistle to which Mercedes rolled her eyes.

Mr. Schuester briefly squeezed Puck's shoulder before going to sit down on the chairs with his students.

Puck strapped the guitar around him and looked up at his friends, clearing his throat.

"I'm not gonna give a whole speech," he said, "I just hope you like the song."

He looked over at Rachel who gave him an encouraging smile and nod of her head.

Taking that encouragement as something to hold onto, Noah started strumming his guitar and began to sing as the band started playing as well.

_**Staring out into the world across the street You hate the way your life turned out to be He s pulling up in the driveway and you don t make a sound Cause you always learned to hold the things you want to say You re always gonna be afraid**_

_**There s only hate There s only tears There s only pain There is no love here So what will you do?**_

_**There s only lies There s only fears There s only pain There is no love here**_

_**Broken down like a mirror smashed to pieces You learned the hard way to shut your mouth and smile And if these walls could talk, they would have so much to say Cause every time you fight the scars are gonna heal But they re never gonna go away**_

_**There s only hate There s only tears There s only pain There is no love here So what will you do?**_

_**There s only lies There s only fears There s only pain There is no love here So what will you do?**_

_**You re falling You re screaming You re stuck in the same old nightmare He s lying You re crying There s nothing left to salvage**_

_**Kick the door cause this is over Get me out of here**_

_**Kick the door**_

_**There s only hate There s only tears There s only pain There is no love here So what will you do?**_

_**There s only lies There s only fears There s only pain There is no love here Tell me what will you do**_

_**There s only hate There s only tears There s only pain There is no love here**_

At the end of the song, Puck didn't dare to look up. He didn't want his friends to see the tears burning in his eyes.

He faintly heard someone clapping and just knew it was Rachel without having to look up.

He could only imagine the reactions of the others. They were probably too shocked to do anything but stare at him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, not knowing what else to say, still staring at his feet.

Suddenly he heard someone standing up and footsteps coming closer. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into the eyes of his teacher.

"Don't apologize for showing your emotions, Puck," the teacher spoke, a warm smile on his face and what seemed like tears in the corner of his eyes, "It was amazing. Actually, it would be a good song for sectionals."

Puck's jaw dropped and he stared from his teacher to the other students who were suddenly talking loudly, agreeing with their teacher.

"I never thought you had it in you, Puckerman." Santana said without any emotion in her voice, but her eyes spoke for themselves.

"I did," Brittany said, smiling brightly when everyone turned to look at her, "I knew Puck was a Rock Star."

She sounded so sincere and looked almost starstruck when she stared at Puck that all the girls giggled, the boys smiled and Santana threw her arm around her best friend with the proudest smile on her face.

"Thanks," Puck finally said to his teacher, "But I don't know if the song is good enough for-"

"I think you should do it," Kurt cut him off and Puck stared at the boy, "Mr. Schue is right, Puck. The song is good and the way you sang it was amazing. Very emotional. Very believable, which is the most important thing. To make people believe that you feel what you're singing and you totally did."

Puck blinked at Kurt, who just kept smiling at only smiling, he was also staring intently at him as if he was trying to read him through his eyes.

"Um, thanks..." then he quickly looked back to his teacher, "I'll think about it."

Puck tried not to flinch too hard when he felt his teacher squeeze his shoulder.

"Let me know when you figured it out," mr. Schuester said, then turned back to the others, "Alright kids; let's leave it at this. I've got lots of other stuff to do so..."

" 'Stuff' like miss Pillsbury," Artie whispered to Tina and Mercedes who both giggled.

Mr. Schuester pretended like he hadn't heard it because he really liked Artie, and besides, what use would it have?

It was the truth and Will Schuester didn't like lying. Or liars, like his ex-wife Terri.

"Come on, guys," he said instead, "You can all go home."

The chattering between the students, and friends, started up as they made their way out of the choir room.

Brittany stopped at Puck's side, flanked by Santana of course.

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Sure, Brit," Puck smiled, playing along for fun, and just to do Brit a favor because he actually liked the girl. "Do you have a paper for me to sign on?"

Brittany shook her head, "I want you to sign my boobies."

Puck gaped at her before looking over at Santana who send him a death glare.

"Um, I don't think that's a good idea, Brit."

"Why not?"

"We're still in school," he knew it was a weak excuse, but what was he supposed to do? "I can write it on your arm though."

That seemed to please the blond cheerleader 'cause she eagerly held out her arm and a pen to him.

Santana didn't seem to have a problem with him signing Brittany's arm, 'cause she nodded when Puck gave her a questioning look.

After Puck had given Brittany her pen back, Santana held out her pinkie and both girls walked off, holding pinkies.

Puck thought he could hear Brittany say, "I'm never gonna wash my arm again," and smiled to himself.

Puck was just putting back the guitar he had borrowed from one of the guys of the band when he heard another, very familiar, voice talking to Brad.

He couldn't quite hear what he was saying, but Puck had a feeling that person was up to something.

That person, was Kurt.

He heard footsteps coming his way and looked up into Kurt's eyes, who was standing right in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I want to talk to you. Don't worry," he added when he saw Puck look around to see if they were alone, "I asked Brad to stay a little longer. So, technically, you're not alone with me."

Puck looked over at Brad who was staring at his piano sheets for no particular reason. Then he sighed, admitting defeat.

"Fine," he said, gesturing to two seats next to each other and sat down on one, waiting for Kurt to take the one next to him before he asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

"That depends on what you want to tell me."

"You're speaking in riddles, Kurt."

"That song," Kurt started to explain, "There's quite a dark meaning behind it."

"Is it?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Kurt said, a little irritated, "I know you have brains in that mohawked head of yours."

Puck smiled softly, "I'm glad you noticed."

"Don't try and change the subject."

Puck sighed, "I do know the meaning behind the song. I never sing songs that don't mean something to me."

"Like all great singers," Kris said impressed, "So, what does this song mean to you?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I want to help you," Kurt explained, "You told me you're scared of being alone with a guy, now this song...What happened to you, Puck?"

Puck felt his hands clench into fists almost unconsciously, like they had a mind of their own.

He wanted to scream, wanted to punch something, but instead he just kept quiet.

He didn't want Kurt, nor Brad, to see him break down.

"Puck?" Kurt asked softly when the silence remained too long for himto like it, "Did your father beat you when you were a kid?"

Puck's head shot up and he glared menacingly at Kurt.

"My dad left my mom when I was still a kid, but no, he never beat me or my baby sister."

"Did he do something else than?" he was almost afraid of the question and even more of the answer.

"No, Kurt," Puck tried to stay calm, but he was slowly losing it, "My dad didn't do anything wrong, except for running away. Now could you just leave it alone? I don't want to talk about this, ok?"

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Puck," Kurt replied sadly, "This is gonna destroy you."

"I've been dealing with it for 7 years, I'm sure I can deal with it a little longer."

Kurt was a little taken aback and didn't really know what else to say to get Puck to talk to him.

Puck didn't give him more chance to think about it, 'cause he was up on his feet in no time, striding over to the door.

"Puck, wait!"

Puck just raised his hand and gave him a backhand ave as he left the choir room without looking back.

Kurt looked over at Brad who just gave him a half-smile, half-shrug as if to say; "What are you gonna do about it?"

Kurt sighed but he wasn't planning on giving up yet.

He wanted to know... Wanted to help.

But in order to be able to help, he needed Puck to start opening up.

Maybe if he tried to change his tactic a little, he wouldn't have to push, and Puck would come to talk to him out of himself.

That would be just perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Everything Feels Better When You're Around ~7/?~ Author: saar_fantasy Pairing: Puck/Kurt Rating: R Warnings: mentioning of rape, very visual flashbacks and dreams, trust issues Spoilers: none Genre: AU,Drama,Romance Word Count:: ~ Disclaimer: As much as I wished I did, I don't own any of them.  
>Summary: Noah Puckerman is a broken child... He carries the weight of a very dark secret that happened in his youth and never really learned to cope with it. He doesn't trust anyone, not even his best friends Finn and Sam. When Kurt Hummel comes in his life, something seems to change...<p>

"Hey fairy."

Kurt whipped his head around, glaring at whoever called him that.

He hadn't heard homophobic words since he changed schools, so he was actually a little surprised, but not in a good way.

The boy standing behind him so Kurt had to look up to see his face. He didn't know the boy, but based on the letterman jacket he was wearing, he had to be a jock.

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Nothing," the boy smirked, "Just saying hi."

"If you can't do that in any othe way than calling me names, I'd prefer you not talking to me at all."

The tall jock's eyes darkened, "So we have a big mouthed fairy, have we?"

Kurt's eyes darted around as four other jocks came up behind the tall guy, all with a cup in their hands.

"What do we do to big mouthed homo's guys?" the tall jock asked, making the four boys snicker.

"We show them who's the boss around here," a black boy answered, stepping up beside the tall jock.

"That's right,Az," the tall jock smirked, "It's time for an ice cold shower, homo."

Before Kurt could do anything or even move away, the four guys plus the guy in the front all threw their cups at him.

Soaked in slushie, and followed by the loud laughter of the jocks, Kurt stormed into the nearest girls' room.

He knows he isn't supposed to be there, but the girls' bathroom was just that more hygienic.

He wasn't prepared to see Mercedes, Rachel and Tina there though...

"What happened to you?" Rachel exclaimed when Kurt bounded through the door.

"What do you think?" Kurt replied irritatedly, "I just thought I'd take a slushee shower because it's fun. Those stupid jocks threw them over me unexpected!"

"Who?" Mercedes asked with her angry bitch face already in place, "Tell me who did this, boo."

"I don't know their names," Kurt answered, going to the sink, "Could someone please help me wash up and get me some clothes?"

Mercedes was the first to answer, "I think Sam's clothes might fit you best. I'll see if he has some spare in his locker."

Kurt nodded and thanked her before she left the room.

"It was Karofsky, wasn't it." Rachel asked, although it didn't really sound like a question to Kurt. "Who else could it be?"

Kurt shrugged, "It was a tall guy who seemed the leader of their gang or something. There also was was this black kid named Ass?" Kurt wrinkled his nose, "Who would call his kid Ass? You might ass well call him buttcheek."

Tina and Rachel both snickered.

"It's spelled with a Z, Kurt," Rachel explained for him, "His full name is Azimio Adams. He's one of the worst bullies in our school, together with; who you called the tall guy; Dave Karofsky."

"There were 3 other guys with them too."

"They're just small fries compared to Azimio and Karofsky, believe me. They won't do anything when those two are not around."

At that moment, Mercedes came back with some spare clothes from Sam and an exasparated look on her face.

"Sorry, Kurt," Mercedes said, handing the clothes to him, "I had to tell Sam what happened."

Kurt winced a little. He really didn't want the guys to find out about this.

Luckily it had happened in a deserted hallway so nobody else saw it.

"I hope you told him not to tell anyone. Not even Finn and Puck."

Mercedes nodded, "Of course I did. I hope he keeps his promise."

"I'll ask him too." Kurt answered, then went back to clean himself and went into a stall to change his clothes.

Afterwards they all walked out of the girls' room as if nothing had happened.

If someone asked Kurt why he changed his clothes, he would give them an excuse they couldn't put in doubt.

Puck didn't really seem to buy it, but thank God for Rachel, 'cause she distracted him from the subject of Kurt's clothes to ask him if he had thought about singing the song for sectionals.

"I don't know yet," Puck answered, "Aren't you and Finn normally taking the lead?"

"Yes, we do," Rachel confirmed, "But we would gladly give it up to you, just for this one time."

Mercedes snorted and Kurt and Sam gave each other a look, while Rachel seemed very satisfied with what she just said.

"Thanks Rach," Puck just answered, giving Kurt a wink when he gave him a raised eyebrow look, "That's very generous of you."

So the "secret" of Kurt being slushied was safe.

At least for now it still was...

Sadly for Kurt, it hadn't stopped with that one slushie attack.

They became weekly, no, more like two times a week. But now Kurt made sure he always had fresh clothes in his bag or in his locker so he wouldn't have to ask Sam for some of his.

Puck or Finn or anyone else from Glee club, besides the three girls and Sam, luckily hadn't found out about it yet.

For some reason, Karofsky and his gang always slushied Kurt when no one was around.

Kurt didn't know why though, 'cause it would probably be more fun for them if they had an audience. An audience who would laugh at Kurt.

Maybe they were afraid of something...Or someone...

Maybe they were just too cowardice to bully someone in open public view.

One day though, something happened...

Kurt was cornered again by his bullies, but this time he wasn't so alone as he thought he was.

He got the slushie shower and was ready to just retreat back to the bathroom to clean up when he heard screaming from behind him.

He whirled around and saw Puck storming up to him.

"What the fuck just happened here?"

Karofsky stopped giving his buddies high fives and looked at Puck, grinning widely.

"'S up, Puckerman? You're a little late to join the party."

"You asshole."

"Wow, are we gonna protect the little fairy now? Ah, I get it now...This is why you didn't want to get into the football team, even after our coach personally asked you. You're a little fairy yourself."

Puck all but stormed at Karofsky and grabbed him by his collar.

"You better take that back, Dave. Or else..."

"Or else what? Are you gonna fight me?" Karofsky smirked and his friends all chuckled."I would like to see you try...Fairy."

The last word had just left Karofsky's mouth when Puck's fist collided with his jaw.

"Motherfucker!" Karofsky growled when he had regained balance and lunched at Puck.

Puck was so worked up that he didn't care about his fear of being in physical contact with guys.

He and Karofsky were just rolling over the floor, throwing punch after punch at each other.

It wasn't until they slammed against some lockers and Puck found himself trapped under Karofsky's large body that he started to panic.

"G-get off of me."

Karofsky smirked at Puck stammering a little, "What's wrong? You admit defeat, fairy?"

Puck couldn't handle it anymore and started thrashing around helplessly.

"Get off me, get off me, get off me," Puck repeated over and over again.

Karofsky was suddenly getting worried, seeing how Puck's face showed nothing but fear and he was sweating like hell.

He unclenched his fists and spoke in a more friendly voice, "Dude, are you ok?"

Kurt and Karofsky's friends were still staring at the two boys, noticing the sudden change in Puck's behavior as well.

They were all too shocked to do something, luckily for them, other students had come out to see what the noise was about, two of those students were Sam and Finn.

They both came running towards them, Finn grabbing Karofsky off of Puck and pushing him against the lockers.

"What the fuck did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything, man!"

"Liar!" Finn pointed at Puck, who was still writhing on the floor, "Look at him! What the hell did you do to make him act like this?"

"I don't know! We were just fighting and he suddenly freaked out!"

In the meanwhile, Sam slowly approached Puck, reaching out to him but not quite touching.

"Puck," he said softly, but firmly, "Puck, calm down. It's alright, man. Karofsky's off of you. It's alright..."

Puck slowly started to calm down at Sam's, repeated, soothing words.

He opened his eyes and blinked up at all the worried faces above him.

As soon as it got back to him what had happened, he shot up of the ground and looked around like a chased animal.

"Hey, man," Sam said, the worried tone in his voice very clear, "What happened to you."

"I...I can't..."

With that he just took off, storming away to he didn't even know where.

It only took a minute for Kurt to snap out of his daze and follow him.

He told Finn and Sam first to tell everyone not to follow him, not even the two of them.

He thought this would be the right time to talk to Puck. If he played it right, then Puck would maybe open up to him.

He could only hope that he wouldn't run away from him again...

Fingers crossed and hope for the best.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Everything Feels Better When You're Around ~8/?~ Author: saar_fantasy Pairing: Puck/Kurt Rating: R Warnings: mentioning of rape, very visual flashbacks and dreams, trust issues Spoilers: none Genre: AU,Drama,Romance Word Count:: ~ Disclaimer: As much as I wished I did, I don't own any of them.  
>Summary: Noah Puckerman is a broken child... He carries the weight of a very dark secret that happened in his youth and never really learned to cope with it. He doesn't trust anyone, not even his best friends Finn and Sam. When Kurt Hummel comes in his life, something seems to change...<p>AN: Sorry that this is such a short, but powerful, chapter. I think it has a right to stand on it's own. Hope you like it!

Kurt followed Puck all the way to the football field, where he finally sat down on top of the bleachers.

Kurt approached him tentatively and sat down next to him, leaving a respectful space between them so Puck wouldn't freak out that much.

Puck did nothing to acknowledge Kurt's presence, although Kurt was sure Puck knew he was there.

Puck was just staring out over the field, Kurt following his example until he was sick of the silence and turned his head sideways to look at Puck.

"What happened to you, Puck?" he asked quietly, "First the song, now this freak out... I'm worried about you. We all are."

Puck didn't turn his head to look at Kurt, but he did open his mouth to speak.

"I'm gay, Kurt."

Kurt was confused by the answer, "Ok, but that doesn't explain anything. Plus, I don't see why that's a problem, because you know I'm gay as well."

"Nobody knows this about me," Puck continued, still staring right in front of him, "Not even Finn, Sam, Rachel and Mercedes."

"I can keep a secret," Kurt said to reassure Puck a little, "But I feel that there's more..."

Puck nodded and breathed out a "There is..."

Kurt scooted a little closer to Puck, feeling relieved when he didn't move away.

"Tell me. I can listen. And I promise you I won't tell a soul."

Puck's eyes shifted and he briefly looked over at Kurt before staring straight ahead of him again.

He couldn't do this while looking at him...He just couldn't.

The words would just get caught up in his throat and they were dying to get out. Dying to be heard by someone.

"I've got raped when I was 10 years old."

He expected the gasp from the boy beside him, but he didn't expect him to move closer like he did.

Kurt was glad that Puck didn't move away when he scooted closer to him.

He wanted to reach out and put his hand on Puck's leg for some kind of comfort, but he thought that would be too much.

"My dad, my real one, left my mom, me and my sister when I was 7 years old. We went through hell, especially my mom, but somehow we got through." Puck started telling his painful story, eyes still fixed on the football field." Three years later my mom met another guy...He was good to her and they started dating quite soon after they met. He came over a lot, but I didn't really like him... I just thought he always looked kind of funny at me. It didn't take too long for me to find out what that look was..."

Kurt noticed the sudden trembling of Puck's voice, "You don't have to continue if you don't want to."

Puck just shook his head, "I need to tell someone some time. I can't keep this a secret forever, even if I wanted to."

Kurt nodded understandingly and gave a small smile, encouraging Puck to go on.

"My mom had to go out to get some errands one day and took my little sister with her, while her new lover was babysitting on me, although I was ten and felt way too old to have someone babysit me, my mom wanted it that way. So, I was alone with mister perfect lover-guy. I was up in my room, just playing on my computer when he suddenly came upstairs and came inside my room without even knockin on my door. He sat down on my bed and asked if I wanted to join him. I said no of course, but he kept asking and said that he would do something fun with me if I joined him there on the bed. Being the curious little kid I was, I really wanted to know what that "something fun" could be. So, I paused the game I was playing and went to sit beside him on the bed. He made me lay down and before I even knew what was happening, he was leaning over me and started pulling off my pants. I started screaming and thrashing around, but suddenly he held a pocket knife against my throat and I couldn't bring out another sound. He kept on pulling off my pants and underwear, then pushed me on my belly and undid his own pants and boxers. I couldn't do anything but wait and face the inevitable. He didn't even prepare me, he just..." Puck took a long, deep breath, "He just raped me..."

This time, Kurt did reach out and squeezed Puck's knee.

"You don't have to go further..."

"The words..." Puck stammered, "Those words he whispered in my ear...They keep on haunting me." he finally turned his head and looked at Kurt, his eyes filled with unshed tears, "It didn't stay with one time, Kurt. That...That guy raped me 5 times."

Kurt closed his eyes and gently dropped his head on Puck's shoulder, his arms going around him almost automatically, but he kept them loose, so Puck wouldn't feel trapped.

Puck tensed, but he didn't freak out. He needed some kind of comfort and he knew Kurt was trying to give that to him.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered, "Have you told your mom about this?"

Puck shook his head, "No. I told you, I haven't told anyone about this."

"What happened to her and that guy? They aren't still together, are they?"

"She caught him cheating on her...With another man..."

"Oh, Puck..." Kurt breathed softly, "I really don't know what to say to that..."

Puck chuckled softly, "Finally found a way to shut you up, huh?"

Kurt snorted and playfully slapped Puck's chest, glad to see a little smile on his face when he looked up.

"Thank you, Kurt," Puck whispered softly, "I felt like you're the only one I could tell this too. Even if we don't know each other that long...I do trust you."

Kurt smiled, feeling happy that he had helped Puck in some way by just listening to him.

"You can tell the others when you're ready."

"Yeah...I don't think I'll ever be ready to have this conversation again."

"You could start by telling them that you're gay. I mean, they accepted me into the group and I'm like, flaming. There's no way that they wouldn't respect you anymore when you tell them you're gay."

Puck was silent for a little while, just thinking it over.

He also noticed that Kurt was still leaning against him, holding him, and he noticed to his surprise that it didn't really bother him.

He smiled softly, looking over at the football field again when he answered.

"Yeah...Maybe you're right."


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Everything Feels Better When You're Around ~9/?~ Author: saar_fantasy Pairing: Puck/Kurt Rating: R Warnings: mentioning of rape, very visual flashbacks and dreams, trust issues Spoilers: none Genre: AU,Drama,Romance Word Count:: ~ Disclaimer: As much as I wished I did, I don't own any of them.  
>Summary: Noah Puckerman is a broken child... He carries the weight of a very dark secret that happened in his youth and never really learned to cope with it. He doesn't trust anyone, not even his best friends Finn and Sam. When Kurt Hummel comes in his life, something seems to change...<p>

Both boys sat on the bleachers for a little longer in a comfortable silence.

Neither of them cared about their missed classes. Puck's story still going on inside both of their heads.

"Do you want me to be with you for support when you tell them?" Kurt asked, breaking the silence almost reluctantly.

"Yeah," Puck answered, giving him a small smile, "I could use the support."

"They're not gonna eat you alive," Kurt said, "Plus, I can already hear Rachel start talking about her two gay dads and turns this all to her instead of you."

Puck chuckled, knowing that Kurt was right. He could already hear Rachel himself.

"It would be a welcome distraction for once."

Kurt smiled, knowing exactly what Puck means.

"So how do you want to do this?" Kurt asked, "And when?"

Puck doesn't even have to think about his answer, "I would like to do it now."

Kurt nodded, "I'll assemble them in the choir room. It's the best place for you to tell them."

Puck nodded in agreement, "Ok. Just give me a sign when you did. I would like to be alone for a moment."

Kurt stood up and looked down at Puck. He actually wasn't keen on letting him alone right now, but he just had to trust Puck that he wouldn't do anything stupid.

"I'll come and get you when they're all in the choir room."

Puck just nodded and Kurt left him alone. Going back to the school building to gather the others of the Glee club and settle them down in the choir room.

He hoped the others; not Mercedes, Sam, Finn and Rachel, because he was pretty sure they would accept Puck; but he hoped the others would accept him as well.

They didn't seem to have a problem with his sexuality and Kurt hoped they wouldn't have a problem with Puck's either.

He knew it probably would be weird for them to find out that their friend had kept this a secret from them, but they would hopefully understand...Eventually.

-..-

When Kurt had ensembled everyone in the choir room, he went back to the football field to get Puck.

He found him in exact the same place as where he'd left him on the bleachers.

He walked up the big stairs until he stood next to Puck.

"They're all ready for you."

Puck nodded and slowly stood up, stretching his slightly numb limbs a little.

They both walked down the stairs of the bleachers in silence, then up to the school.

It wasn't until they were in front of the choir room's door that Kurt spoke up again.

"Everyone of the Glee club is in there, Puck."

Puck, who just had his hand on the doorknob, pulled it back as if it was burned.

"Why everyone?" he asked confused, "I thought you were only gonna get Finn,Sam, Rachel and Mercedes."

"All of them are your friends, Puck. Besides, they have a right to know."

Puck knew Kurt was right. Besides, Karofsky already assumed he was gay too, so it was only a matter of time befor the rumour would spread around the school.

He sighed and nodded defeatedly, "You're right. It's not like I have to tell them my whole story... Not yet anyway."

Kurt gave him an encouraging smile and Puck opened the door of the choir room. Allowing both boys to step inside.

"I'm here for you," Kurt whispered to Puck before going to sit down next to Mercedes, leaving Puck in front of the room.

In front of all the staring eyes.

"This better be good," Santana commented getting glares from everyone and a little elbow in the ribs from Quinn.

Even mr. Schuester was there, Puck noticed, but maybe it was best to keep a teacher at bay.

Kurt really was a very smart guy.

"Hi everyone," Puck said, shuffling his feet nervously, "I have something to confess to you all." When no on said anything, Puck took a deep breath and stared down at his feet, not able to look anyone of them in the eyes. "I...I'm gay."

Silence fell in the room until a laugh was heard and everyone turned their heads towards the source of it.

"That's it?" Santana of course." Djeez, Puck. We already knew that." Seeing Finn's confused look, she rolled her eyes and rephrased herself, "Well, at least I did. No straight guy ever said no to me when I offer them to have sex or just a make out session, but you did. I knew you were gay from then on and so did Britt."

Puck, who had looked up at Santana's laugh as well, looked at the others' expressions, stopping at Rachel's beaming face.

"I have two gay dads, Noah. Of course I knew you were gay."

Puck glanced over at Kurt, who gave him a wink. Rachel really was predictable sometimes.

The rest of them all didn't seem so surprised either, only Finn a little. But when Rachel invited them all for a group hug, Finn was one of the first people up on his feet, making his way over to Puck to hug him.

Kurt looked over at Puck with worry in his eyes. Knowing that the hug with the guys could trigger one of his freak outs again.

Luckily for Puck, Rachel and the other girls were there first, so they all surrounded him already before the guys joined in with them.

Puck smiled a little when they all pulled away. That's until Santana spoke up again.

"That can't be all that you had to tell us, Puckerman," Santana looked at him inquiringly, "Come on, what was that all about there in the hallway?"

Puck tensed and Kurt had to hold himself back from slapping the girl in the face.

"Santana, that's enough." for once Puck was really glad for mr. Schue's presence in the room. "Puck will tell us when he wants to. Don't you, Puck?"

Puck gave a small smile and a nod, but Santana wasn't satisfied yet.

"Oh, come on-"

"Leave him alone, San," Brittany said, putting her hand on her best friend's arm and smiling over at Puck, "He'll tell us when he's ready."

Puck wondered if Brittany maybe had caught onto something, which seemed very unlikely, but you never know.

He was grateful for her interruptance though, 'cause if there was one person who had something to say over Santana's actions; it was her.

Santana was still staring intently at him though and he shuffled his feet again.

Of course did mr. Schue save the moment again.

"Time to get back to your classes, guys."

They all mumbled and grumbled but mr. Schuester didn't want to hear it and shoo'ed them all outside.

Kurt and Puck were the last ones to leave and they walked through the hallway side by side, in companionable silence.

If Kurt's and Puck's hands "accidentally" brushed against each other at times, they both acted as if they didn't notice it.

When they parted ways at one point, a smile spread across both their faces.

Nobody but them knew why.


End file.
